the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Couch. On fire.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
