It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
