i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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