why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
