He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
