I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
