I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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