i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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