Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
