If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
We smell like vodka and hangover
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
