Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
