put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
