we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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