She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
thus making me awesome and them whores
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
