I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
