yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
