is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
