I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
