Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
