were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
