Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
