Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
