nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
