There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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