Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
