Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
