Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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