Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
