Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
