i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
