How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I bet he comes in French.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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