she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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