Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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