Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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