drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just invented taco cereal.
There's always time for handjobs
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
