we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
