I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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