I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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