marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i need some magic done to my vagina
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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