i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
