Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
