We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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