nutella sex= disaster
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
