Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
