Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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