We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Bring me that man meat
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
