By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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