I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
