Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
