I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
