i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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