I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
