I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
