He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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